On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Das Stig is a manaic!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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