- Clarksonisms

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Some Poos Come Out

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Clarksonisms

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