What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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Motor from a food blender?

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Flying fish wasabi?

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Killing a mamooth

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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