Frederik Du lugter

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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we wait with anticipation

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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