- Clarksonisms

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Flying fish wasabi?

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Clarksonisms

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