- Clarksonisms

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Motor from a food blender?

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Speed saves people!

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Motorized pepper grinder?

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Flying fish wasabi?

Don't do that, tortoise!

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Clarksonisms

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