Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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car goes fast

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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...In the world.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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