- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

How many years are there in donkey years?

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Killing a mamooth

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!