"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Don't do that, tortoise!

It stands out like

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

ze5zege ef ege gg

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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