The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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Speed saves people!

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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