During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.