- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Killing a mamooth

...In the world.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

It stands out like

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

... And across the line!

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Speed saves people!

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

car goes fast

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!