we wait with anticipation

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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