I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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It stands out like

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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