Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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