- Clarksonisms

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Frederik Du lugter

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

ze5zege ef ege gg

Clarksonisms

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