- Clarksonisms

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Flying fish wasabi?

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

This is the greatest car ... In the world

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Clarksonisms

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