- Clarksonisms

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Some Poos Come Out

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Motorized pepper grinder?

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

herro am spoderman

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Clarksonisms

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