- Clarksonisms

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Don't do that, tortoise!

Motor from a food blender?

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Clarksonisms

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