I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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