this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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...In the world.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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