[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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...In the world.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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