- Clarksonisms

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Das Stig is a manaic!

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Clarksonisms

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