This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +181

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

thumb_up thumb_down +110

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

thumb_up thumb_down +91

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

thumb_up thumb_down +246

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

thumb_up thumb_down +78

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

thumb_up thumb_down -14

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

thumb_up thumb_down -123

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

thumb_up thumb_down +89

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

thumb_up thumb_down -64

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

thumb_up thumb_down +149

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.