- Clarksonisms

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Clarksonisms

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