How hard can it be?

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

we wait with anticipation

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

Deal with it

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.