- Clarksonisms

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

we wait with anticipation

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds