- Clarksonisms

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car goes fast

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Clarksonisms

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