- Clarksonisms

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Clarksonisms

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