I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Frederik Du lugter

thumb_up thumb_down -116

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Das Stig is a manaic!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

thumb_up thumb_down +82

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

thumb_up thumb_down +31

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.