- Clarksonisms

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Deal with it

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Killing a mamooth

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

herro am spoderman

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Clarksonisms

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