Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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