The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Killing a mamooth

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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