The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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...In the world.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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