- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!