I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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