While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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How hard can it be?

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Frederik Du lugter

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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we wait with anticipation

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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