Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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