tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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