- Clarksonisms

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

...In the world.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

herro am spoderman

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

we wait with anticipation

How hard can it be?

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Clarksonisms

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