- Clarksonisms

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

we wait with anticipation

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Clarksonisms

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