- Clarksonisms

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Motor from a food blender?

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

we wait with anticipation

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

In the WOOORLD...

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

car goes fast

Clarksonisms

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