- Clarksonisms

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Clarksonisms

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