- Clarksonisms

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

M3 drivers have no friends.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Clarksonisms

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