on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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... And across the line!

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Frederik Du lugter

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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