In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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