Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Speed saves people!

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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herro am spoderman

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Whatsapp Status

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we wait with anticipation

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Killing a mamooth

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

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