This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

In the WOOORLD...

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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