- Clarksonisms

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

we wait with anticipation

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

herro am spoderman

Clarksonisms

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