Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Some Poos Come Out

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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herro am spoderman

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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