Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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