- Clarksonisms

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Motor from a food blender?

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Motorized pepper grinder?

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Clarksonisms

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