Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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...In the world.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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