- Clarksonisms

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Clarksonisms

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