Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Speed saves people!

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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