- Clarksonisms

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Flying fish wasabi?

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Motorized pepper grinder?

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Clarksonisms

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