I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Some Poos Come Out

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

How hard can it be?

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

herro am spoderman

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Flying fish wasabi?

How many years are there in donkey years?

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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