By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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...In the world.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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