- Clarksonisms

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

It stands out like

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

This is the greatest car ... In the world

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Clarksonisms

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