- Clarksonisms

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Clarksonisms

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