- Clarksonisms

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Some Poos Come Out

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Clarksonisms

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