By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Some Poos Come Out

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.