- Clarksonisms

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Motor from a food blender?

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

ze5zege ef ege gg

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

Clarksonisms

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