I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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