[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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herro am spoderman

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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car goes fast

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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