What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Frederik Du lugter

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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