Frederik Du lugter

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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