- Clarksonisms

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

How hard can it be?

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Clarksonisms

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