- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!