How hard can it be?

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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...In the world.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Whatsapp Status

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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