- Clarksonisms

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

M3 drivers have no friends.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Clarksonisms

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