When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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