- Clarksonisms

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Flying fish wasabi?

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Motorized pepper grinder?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Motor from a food blender?

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Clarksonisms

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