- Clarksonisms

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Clarksonisms

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