ze5zege ef ege gg

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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