- Clarksonisms

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

How many years are there in donkey years?

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Don't do that, tortoise!

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Clarksonisms

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