What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.