See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Speed saves people!

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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Killing a mamooth

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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