On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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