- Clarksonisms

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

Clarksonisms

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