- Clarksonisms

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Clarksonisms

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