- Clarksonisms

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Motorized pepper grinder?

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Clarksonisms

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