On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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