- Clarksonisms

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Das Stig is a manaic!

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Don't do that, tortoise!

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

How many years are there in donkey years?

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

In the WOOORLD...

Clarksonisms

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