-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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