- Clarksonisms

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

M3 drivers have no friends.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Killing a mamooth

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Clarksonisms

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