I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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In the WOOORLD...

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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