- Clarksonisms

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

How hard can it be?

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Clarksonisms

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