Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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In the WOOORLD...

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herro am spoderman

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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car goes fast

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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