- Clarksonisms

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

It stands out like

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Some Poos Come Out

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Speed saves people!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Clarksonisms

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