- Clarksonisms

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Clarksonisms

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