I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Killing a mamooth

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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...In the world.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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car goes fast

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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