[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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Some Poos Come Out

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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