I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Don't do that, tortoise!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

It stands out like

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Flying fish wasabi?

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Motor from a food blender?

Deal with it

we wait with anticipation

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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