On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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