On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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...In the world.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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