On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Motor from a food blender?

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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