I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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...In the world.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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