M3 drivers have no friends.

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Frederik Du lugter

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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