- Clarksonisms

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

It stands out like

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Killing a mamooth

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Clarksonisms

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