- Clarksonisms

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Motor from a food blender?

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Killing a mamooth

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Clarksonisms

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