A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +540

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1,136

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

thumb_up thumb_down -45

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

thumb_up thumb_down -198

Claire chris paul steve & dave

thumb_up thumb_down -22

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

thumb_up thumb_down +84

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

thumb_up thumb_down +136

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +561

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

thumb_up thumb_down -954

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

thumb_up thumb_down -828

Frederik Du lugter

thumb_up thumb_down -247

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

thumb_up thumb_down

Speed saves people!

thumb_up thumb_down +181

I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

thumb_up thumb_down -554

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.