The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +111

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Some Poos Come Out

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

thumb_up thumb_down -80

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1,077

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +1,323

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -590

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

thumb_up thumb_down +84

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

thumb_up thumb_down +117

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +339

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.