Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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Killing a mamooth

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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