"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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herro am spoderman

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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