If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Speed saves people!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Flying fish wasabi?

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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