"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Deal with it

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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