On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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...In the world.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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