So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Das Stig is a manaic!

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

M3 drivers have no friends.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Don't do that, tortoise!


Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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