"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Whatsapp Status

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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