In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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