Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

thumb_up thumb_down -70

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +104

ze5zege ef ege gg

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +280

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +223

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Killing a mamooth

thumb_up thumb_down -4

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

thumb_up thumb_down +72

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

thumb_up thumb_down +91

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Claire chris paul steve & dave

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

thumb_up thumb_down -23

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

thumb_up thumb_down +326

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.