When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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