herro am spoderman

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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