on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

thumb_up thumb_down +91

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1,113

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

thumb_up thumb_down -54

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +560

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

thumb_up thumb_down +89

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -118

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Killing a mamooth

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +111

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Some Poos Come Out

thumb_up thumb_down +56

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

thumb_up thumb_down -6

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.