- Clarksonisms

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

Motor from a food blender?

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Killing a mamooth

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Clarksonisms

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