It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Das Stig is a manaic!

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

we wait with anticipation

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.