- Clarksonisms

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

herro am spoderman

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Flying fish wasabi?

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Deal with it

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Clarksonisms

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