On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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Speed saves people!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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