I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Some Poos Come Out

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Whatsapp Status

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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How hard can it be?

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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