- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

ze5zege ef ege gg

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Killing a mamooth

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

In the WOOORLD...

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!