- Clarksonisms

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

M3 drivers have no friends.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

How hard can it be?

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Flying fish wasabi?

Killing a mamooth

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Clarksonisms

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