- Clarksonisms

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Frederik Du lugter

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

How many years are there in donkey years?

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Clarksonisms

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