- Clarksonisms

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Das Stig is a manaic!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Killing a mamooth

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

This is the greatest car ... In the world

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Frederik Du lugter

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Clarksonisms

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