- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Killing a mamooth

Frederik Du lugter

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

This is the greatest car ... In the world

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!