During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Some Poos Come Out

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

How many years are there in donkey years?

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.