Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Some Poos Come Out

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.