[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Killing a mamooth

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Das Stig is a manaic!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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