- Clarksonisms

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Clarksonisms

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