And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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herro am spoderman

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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we wait with anticipation

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Deal with it

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It stands out like

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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In the WOOORLD...

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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