I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Some Poos Come Out

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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