What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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...In the world.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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