- Clarksonisms

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Clarksonisms

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