this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

...In the world.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.