Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Some Poos Come Out

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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