- Clarksonisms

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Whatsapp Status

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Clarksonisms

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