- Clarksonisms

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Clarksonisms

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