So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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