A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Das Stig is a manaic!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Frederik Du lugter

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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