It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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