- Clarksonisms

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Some Poos Come Out

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Clarksonisms

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