- Clarksonisms

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Clarksonisms

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