- Clarksonisms

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Some Poos Come Out

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Clarksonisms

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