"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Das Stig is a manaic!

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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