- Clarksonisms

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

...In the world.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Clarksonisms

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