Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

Killing a mamooth

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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