Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

In the WOOORLD...

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Claire chris paul steve & dave

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

herro am spoderman

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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