On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

ze5zege ef ege gg

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

...In the world.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.