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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

...In the world.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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