It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Whatsapp Status

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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