- Clarksonisms

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

...In the world.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Clarksonisms

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