- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!