Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

Some Poos Come Out

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Deal with it

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Don't do that, tortoise!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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