- Clarksonisms

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

herro am spoderman

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

How many years are there in donkey years?

Clarksonisms

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