On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

we wait with anticipation

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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