The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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How hard can it be?

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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