- Clarksonisms

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

ze5zege ef ege gg

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

herro am spoderman

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Clarksonisms

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