- Clarksonisms

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Killing a mamooth

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Speed saves people!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

In the WOOORLD...

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Clarksonisms

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