BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

In the WOOORLD...

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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