What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

This is the greatest car ... In the world

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

In the WOOORLD...

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

It stands out like

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Deal with it

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

we wait with anticipation

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.