So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

It stands out like

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Some Poos Come Out

we wait with anticipation

Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

Killing a mamooth

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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