WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Killing a mamooth

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Speed saves people!

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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