I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

thumb_up thumb_down +111

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

thumb_up thumb_down +24

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

thumb_up thumb_down +135

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

It stands out like

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

thumb_up thumb_down -132

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -79

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Das Stig is a manaic!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

thumb_up thumb_down +121

car goes fast

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.