Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Deal with it

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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we wait with anticipation

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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