[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

Frederik Du lugter

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

...In the world.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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