- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Killing a mamooth

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!