- Clarksonisms

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Killing a mamooth

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

herro am spoderman

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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It stands out like

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Clarksonisms

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