The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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