- Clarksonisms

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

It stands out like

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

This is the greatest car ... In the world

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Some Poos Come Out

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Clarksonisms

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