On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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