James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Deal with it

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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we wait with anticipation

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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It stands out like

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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