Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Frederik Du lugter

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Killing a mamooth

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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