- Clarksonisms

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

herro am spoderman

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

In the WOOORLD...

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Clarksonisms

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