- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Some Poos Come Out

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!