And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Whatsapp Status

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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herro am spoderman

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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It stands out like

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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