Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

thumb_up thumb_down +12

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -50

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -70

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

thumb_up thumb_down -114

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -61

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

thumb_up thumb_down +97

In the WOOORLD...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It stands out like

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Deal with it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

thumb_up thumb_down +58

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.