The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Motor from a food blender?

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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