- Clarksonisms

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

we wait with anticipation

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarksonisms

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