What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Some Poos Come Out

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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