Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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