"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Deal with it

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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