- Clarksonisms

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

In the WOOORLD...

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Clarksonisms

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