Motor from a food blender?

thumb_up thumb_down +120

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

thumb_up thumb_down -119

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

thumb_up thumb_down +171

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

thumb_up thumb_down

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

thumb_up thumb_down +139

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

thumb_up thumb_down +73

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

thumb_up thumb_down -145

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

thumb_up thumb_down +134

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

thumb_up thumb_down +210

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

...In the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

thumb_up thumb_down -101

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -120

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

thumb_up thumb_down -50

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.