We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

In the WOOORLD...

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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