I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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How hard can it be?

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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Some Poos Come Out

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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