Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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