- Clarksonisms

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

How hard can it be?

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Some Poos Come Out

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Clarksonisms

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