- Clarksonisms

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Killing a mamooth

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

we wait with anticipation

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Clarksonisms

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