"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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... And across the line!

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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