- Clarksonisms

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds