I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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