Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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...In the world.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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