- Clarksonisms

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Frederik Du lugter

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Clarksonisms

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