What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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How hard can it be?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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