WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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