Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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