- Clarksonisms

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Don't do that, tortoise!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Clarksonisms

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