- Clarksonisms

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

car goes fast

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Clarksonisms

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