- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Some Poos Come Out

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

It stands out like

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Whatsapp Status

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Clarksonisms

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