Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Frederik Du lugter

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Speed saves people!

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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