What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Deal with it

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Frederik Du lugter

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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