By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

... And across the line!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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