[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Killing a mamooth

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... And across the line!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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