On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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In the WOOORLD...

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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It stands out like

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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