On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Motor from a food blender?

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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car goes fast

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Flying fish wasabi?

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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