This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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