- Clarksonisms

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Deal with it

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

How many years are there in donkey years?

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Clarksonisms

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