- Clarksonisms

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

It stands out like

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

herro am spoderman

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Clarksonisms

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