...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Deal with it

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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