- Clarksonisms

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Clarksonisms

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