Das Stig is a manaic!

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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In the WOOORLD...

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Deal with it

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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