- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!