While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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How hard can it be?

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Speed saves people!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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