- Clarksonisms

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

...In the world.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Motorized pepper grinder?

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Some Poos Come Out

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Clarksonisms

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