On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Whatsapp Status

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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