People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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car goes fast

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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It stands out like

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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