- Clarksonisms

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Don't do that, tortoise!

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

... And across the line!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Clarksonisms

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