- Clarksonisms

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

...In the world.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

ze5zege ef ege gg

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Clarksonisms

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