"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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It stands out like

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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... And across the line!

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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...In the world.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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In the WOOORLD...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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