- Clarksonisms

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

Clarksonisms

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