- Clarksonisms

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Clarksonisms

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