- Clarksonisms

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Motorized pepper grinder?

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Clarksonisms

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