- Clarksonisms

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

In the WOOORLD...

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

... And across the line!

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

Clarksonisms

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