- Clarksonisms

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Killing a mamooth

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

How hard can it be?

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Clarksonisms

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