[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Killing a mamooth

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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