- Clarksonisms

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

... And across the line!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Deal with it

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Some Poos Come Out

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Clarksonisms

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