Claire chris paul steve & dave

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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