- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Frederik Du lugter

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Das Stig is a manaic!

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!