- Clarksonisms

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

herro am spoderman

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Clarksonisms

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