If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Killing a mamooth

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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Deal with it

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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