The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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