- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

car goes fast

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

How hard can it be?

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!