- Clarksonisms

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

How hard can it be?

Speed saves people!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Clarksonisms

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