- Clarksonisms

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Motor from a food blender?

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Clarksonisms

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