- Clarksonisms

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

It stands out like

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Clarksonisms

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