On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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...In the world.

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we wait with anticipation

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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