- Clarksonisms

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Motorized pepper grinder?

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Clarksonisms

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