Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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