On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Some Poos Come Out

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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It stands out like

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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... And across the line!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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