- Clarksonisms

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds