on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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Some Poos Come Out

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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