- Clarksonisms

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

How many years are there in donkey years?

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

car goes fast

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Flying fish wasabi?

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Clarksonisms

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