Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Das Stig is a manaic!

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Flying fish wasabi?

Motor from a food blender?

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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