- Clarksonisms

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

It stands out like

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

In the WOOORLD...

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Clarksonisms

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