Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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... And across the line!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Whatsapp Status

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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