- Clarksonisms

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Clarksonisms

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