- Clarksonisms

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

... And across the line!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Motor from a food blender?

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Clarksonisms

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