- Clarksonisms

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Clarksonisms

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