- Clarksonisms

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Motor from a food blender?

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Clarksonisms

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