- Clarksonisms

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Clarksonisms

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