I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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