- Clarksonisms

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Speed saves people!

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Clarksonisms

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