- Clarksonisms

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

herro am spoderman

Some Poos Come Out

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Das Stig is a manaic!

Motor from a food blender?

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Killing a mamooth

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Clarksonisms

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