- Clarksonisms

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Motorized pepper grinder?

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Claire chris paul steve & dave

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Clarksonisms

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