What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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