- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Deal with it

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

How many years are there in donkey years?

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!