I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Don't do that, tortoise!

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.