This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

It stands out like

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Das Stig is a manaic!

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

How many years are there in donkey years?

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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