There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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