What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.