[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Deal with it

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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