On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

ze5zege ef ege gg

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

...In the world.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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