Killing a mamooth

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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car goes fast

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Whatsapp Status

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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