It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Frederik Du lugter

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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