Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Whatsapp Status

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... And across the line!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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