There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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