- Clarksonisms

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Clarksonisms

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