- Clarksonisms

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Das Stig is a manaic!

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Clarksonisms

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