Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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How hard can it be?

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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... And across the line!

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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