I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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