When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Motor from a food blender?

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Killing a mamooth

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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