- Clarksonisms

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Frederik Du lugter

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Clarksonisms

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