How hard can it be?

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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