- Clarksonisms

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

How many years are there in donkey years?

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

herro am spoderman

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Clarksonisms

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