There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Speed saves people!

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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