On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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