- Clarksonisms

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Some Poos Come Out

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

In the WOOORLD...

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Clarksonisms

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