- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Some Poos Come Out

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds