Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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...In the world.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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car goes fast

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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