[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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... And across the line!

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Killing a mamooth

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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