Frederik Du lugter

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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It stands out like

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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In the WOOORLD...

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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