- Clarksonisms

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Clarksonisms

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