On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Deal with it

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Some Poos Come Out

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Motor from a food blender?

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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