[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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In the WOOORLD...

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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