- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!