This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

thumb_up thumb_down +72

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

thumb_up thumb_down +53

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

thumb_up thumb_down +195

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +172

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

thumb_up thumb_down +81

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +180

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

thumb_up thumb_down -37

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.