- Clarksonisms

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Clarksonisms

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