On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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In the WOOORLD...

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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