That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -32

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

thumb_up thumb_down +79

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

thumb_up thumb_down +60

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

thumb_up thumb_down +69

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Some Poos Come Out

thumb_up thumb_down +51

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In the WOOORLD...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

thumb_up thumb_down +82

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

thumb_up thumb_down -66

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

car goes fast

thumb_up thumb_down +16

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -50

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.