- Clarksonisms

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

...In the world.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Don't do that, tortoise!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Clarksonisms

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