- Clarksonisms

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Speed saves people!

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

It stands out like

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Clarksonisms

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