- Clarksonisms

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

M3 drivers have no friends.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Frederik Du lugter

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Clarksonisms

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