Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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herro am spoderman

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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