This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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