- Clarksonisms

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Don't do that, tortoise!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

It stands out like

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Clarksonisms

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