"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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