The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Some Poos Come Out

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

How many years are there in donkey years?

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

... And across the line!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Killing a mamooth

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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