- Clarksonisms

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

How many years are there in donkey years?

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Clarksonisms

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