I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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