[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

This is the greatest car ... In the world

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Frederik Du lugter

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Das Stig is a manaic!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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