How hard can it be?

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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In the WOOORLD...

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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