- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Speed saves people!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Motorized pepper grinder?

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!