- Clarksonisms

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Killing a mamooth

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Clarksonisms

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