I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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How hard can it be?

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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