It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Speed saves people!

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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