- Clarksonisms

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Clarksonisms

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