This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Some Poos Come Out

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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In the WOOORLD...

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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car goes fast

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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