Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Killing a mamooth

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Deal with it

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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In the WOOORLD...

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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