Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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