We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Deal with it

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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