I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Speed saves people!

Don't do that, tortoise!

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

...In the world.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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