Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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...In the world.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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