[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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In the WOOORLD...

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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