On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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In the WOOORLD...

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Speed saves people!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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