- Clarksonisms

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Clarksonisms

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