And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.