Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Frederik Du lugter

In the WOOORLD...

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

herro am spoderman

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.