The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Speed saves people!

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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