Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Killing a mamooth

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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