what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Frederik Du lugter

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

car goes fast

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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