Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Killing a mamooth

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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... And across the line!

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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