"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Frederik Du lugter

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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Motor from a food blender?

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Whatsapp Status

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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