This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Whatsapp Status

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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