- Clarksonisms

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Whatsapp Status

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Clarksonisms

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