- Clarksonisms

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

It stands out like

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

car goes fast

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Clarksonisms

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