- Clarksonisms

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Motorized pepper grinder?

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Clarksonisms

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