- Clarksonisms

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

ze5zege ef ege gg

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

herro am spoderman

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

How many years are there in donkey years?

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Clarksonisms

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