- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Killing a mamooth

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Don't do that, tortoise!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!