The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Motor from a food blender?

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Killing a mamooth

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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