- Clarksonisms

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Clarksonisms

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