On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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