- Clarksonisms

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

How hard can it be?

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Clarksonisms

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