- Clarksonisms

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

It stands out like

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Clarksonisms

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