Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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