Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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car goes fast

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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