Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -122

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

thumb_up thumb_down +135

we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -47

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -51

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +92

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

thumb_up thumb_down +61

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

thumb_up thumb_down +138

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

thumb_up thumb_down +119

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

thumb_up thumb_down +196

herro am spoderman

thumb_up thumb_down -131

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

thumb_up thumb_down -87

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.