- Clarksonisms

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

How many years are there in donkey years?

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Motor from a food blender?

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Whatsapp Status

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Clarksonisms

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