It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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In the WOOORLD...

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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