"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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