- Clarksonisms

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Flying fish wasabi?

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

This is the greatest car ... In the world

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Clarksonisms

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