- Clarksonisms

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Das Stig is a manaic!

ze5zege ef ege gg

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

How many years are there in donkey years?

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Clarksonisms

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