When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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