- Clarksonisms

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

M3 drivers have no friends.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Clarksonisms

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