- Clarksonisms

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Killing a mamooth

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Clarksonisms

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