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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Das Stig is a manaic!

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

It stands out like

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Some Poos Come Out

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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