...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Frederik Du lugter

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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