- Clarksonisms

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Frederik Du lugter

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Flying fish wasabi?

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Clarksonisms

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