Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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It stands out like

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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