- Clarksonisms

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Clarksonisms

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