- Clarksonisms

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Das Stig is a manaic!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

car goes fast

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Clarksonisms

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