On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

...In the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +1,353

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

thumb_up thumb_down +244

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Some Poos Come Out

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -42

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.