Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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