How many years are there in donkey years?

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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It stands out like

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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