- Clarksonisms

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Motor from a food blender?

Motorized pepper grinder?

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

... And across the line!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Clarksonisms

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