BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Killing a mamooth

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Deal with it

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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