- Clarksonisms

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Clarksonisms

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