Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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Some Poos Come Out

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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car goes fast

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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