[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

In the WOOORLD...

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.