- Clarksonisms

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Speed saves people!

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

Clarksonisms

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