- Clarksonisms

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Whatsapp Status

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Clarksonisms

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