Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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