On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Motor from a food blender?

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Whatsapp Status

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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car goes fast

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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