- Clarksonisms

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Killing a mamooth

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Some Poos Come Out

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

Clarksonisms

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