What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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