- Clarksonisms

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Speed saves people!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Killing a mamooth

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Some Poos Come Out

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Clarksonisms

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