Killing a mamooth

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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It stands out like

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Deal with it

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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