ze5zege ef ege gg

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Speed saves people!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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