Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Killing a mamooth

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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