- Clarksonisms

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

It stands out like

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds