this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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