- Clarksonisms

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Claire chris paul steve & dave

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Clarksonisms

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