Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

car goes fast

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Das Stig is a manaic!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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