Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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