On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Some Poos Come Out

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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