- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Don't do that, tortoise!

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!