- Clarksonisms

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Clarksonisms

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