In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Whatsapp Status

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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