Flying fish wasabi?

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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How hard can it be?

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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Frederik Du lugter

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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