- Clarksonisms

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Killing a mamooth

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Clarksonisms

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