...In the world.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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