I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

This is the greatest car ... In the world

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Killing a mamooth

...In the world.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.