- Clarksonisms

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Killing a mamooth

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

car goes fast

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Clarksonisms

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