'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Flying fish wasabi?

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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car goes fast

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Motor from a food blender?

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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