[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Motorized pepper grinder?

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

car goes fast

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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