It stands out like

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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car goes fast

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Some Poos Come Out

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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