I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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herro am spoderman

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Some Poos Come Out

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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