On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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How hard can it be?

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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