That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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car goes fast

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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