It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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