The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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herro am spoderman

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How hard can it be?

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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