Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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herro am spoderman

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Frederik Du lugter

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Speed saves people!

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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