- Clarksonisms

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Motorized pepper grinder?

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Clarksonisms

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