During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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