- Clarksonisms

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Speed saves people!

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Clarksonisms

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