- Clarksonisms

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Some Poos Come Out

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

How hard can it be?

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Clarksonisms

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