...In the world.

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Some Poos Come Out

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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