Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

ze5zege ef ege gg

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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