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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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