- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!