In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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