Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Frederik Du lugter

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Don't do that, tortoise!

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.