- Clarksonisms

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Deal with it

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

... And across the line!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Clarksonisms

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