Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

thumb_up thumb_down -23

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -60

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Whatsapp Status

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Claire chris paul steve & dave

thumb_up thumb_down -24

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

thumb_up thumb_down +125

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

thumb_up thumb_down -18

... And across the line!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.