I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

In the WOOORLD...

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

...In the world.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.