- Clarksonisms

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Frederik Du lugter

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

ze5zege ef ege gg

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Clarksonisms

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