On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.