And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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In the WOOORLD...

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Killing a mamooth

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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