- Clarksonisms

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

This is the greatest car ... In the world

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

How hard can it be?

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

car goes fast

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Clarksonisms

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