I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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It stands out like

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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