Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.