'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

It stands out like

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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