I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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car goes fast

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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