Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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... And across the line!

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Deal with it

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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