Deal with it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +180

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

thumb_up thumb_down +9

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

thumb_up thumb_down -59

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +101

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

thumb_up thumb_down -108

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.