On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Deal with it

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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