POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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It stands out like

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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...In the world.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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