- Clarksonisms

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

ze5zege ef ege gg

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Some Poos Come Out

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Speed saves people!

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

Clarksonisms

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