- Clarksonisms

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

It stands out like

Killing a mamooth

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Clarksonisms

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