- Clarksonisms

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Frederik Du lugter

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Deal with it

Motor from a food blender?

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Clarksonisms

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