When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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we wait with anticipation

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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