- Clarksonisms

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Motorized pepper grinder?

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

car goes fast

Don't do that, tortoise!

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

herro am spoderman

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Clarksonisms

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