- Clarksonisms

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Clarksonisms

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