- Clarksonisms

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How many years are there in donkey years?

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

How hard can it be?

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Clarksonisms

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