- Clarksonisms

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

herro am spoderman

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Clarksonisms

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