How hard can it be?

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.