So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Some Poos Come Out

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

How many years are there in donkey years?

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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