In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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