I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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How hard can it be?

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Frederik Du lugter

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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