- Clarksonisms

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Some Poos Come Out

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

...In the world.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Clarksonisms

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