3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

car goes fast

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.