- Clarksonisms

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

How hard can it be?

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Clarksonisms

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