Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Speed saves people!

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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