- Clarksonisms

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

... And across the line!

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Clarksonisms

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