- Clarksonisms

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Killing a mamooth

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Deal with it

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Clarksonisms

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