- Clarksonisms

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

ze5zege ef ege gg

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Clarksonisms

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