[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Don't do that, tortoise!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.