- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Whatsapp Status

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

herro am spoderman

Some Poos Come Out

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!