The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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