- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!