It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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