- Clarksonisms

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Don't do that, tortoise!

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Clarksonisms

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