What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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