- Clarksonisms

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

In the WOOORLD...

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

car goes fast

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

M3 drivers have no friends.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Clarksonisms

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