[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Deal with it

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Motor from a food blender?

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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