- Clarksonisms

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

How many years are there in donkey years?

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Don't do that, tortoise!

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Clarksonisms

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