- Clarksonisms

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Don't do that, tortoise!

It stands out like

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

ze5zege ef ege gg

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Clarksonisms

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