'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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...In the world.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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