- Clarksonisms

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

In the WOOORLD...

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Clarksonisms

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