- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Flying fish wasabi?

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

M3 drivers have no friends.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!