It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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car goes fast

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It stands out like

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Deal with it

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herro am spoderman

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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