The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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How hard can it be?

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Frederik Du lugter

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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