Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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... And across the line!

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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In the WOOORLD...

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Speed saves people!

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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