what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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car goes fast

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Some Poos Come Out

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Whatsapp Status

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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