How hard can it be?

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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