- Clarksonisms

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

ze5zege ef ege gg

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Clarksonisms

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