The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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herro am spoderman

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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