I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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