When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Motor from a food blender?

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Killing a mamooth

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In the WOOORLD...

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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