It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Killing a mamooth

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Speed saves people!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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