See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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