I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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