Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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herro am spoderman

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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