- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

How many years are there in donkey years?

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Some Poos Come Out

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!