Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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How hard can it be?

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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