What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Motor from a food blender?

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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How hard can it be?

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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