On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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herro am spoderman

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Frederik Du lugter

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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