- Clarksonisms

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Clarksonisms

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