"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

ze5zege ef ege gg

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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