WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

car goes fast

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

This is the greatest car ... In the world

How hard can it be?

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

M3 drivers have no friends.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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