WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Claire chris paul steve & dave

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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