On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

...In the world.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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