You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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... And across the line!

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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