- Clarksonisms

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Clarksonisms

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