- Clarksonisms

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Clarksonisms

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