on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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herro am spoderman

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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