Flying fish wasabi?

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Motorized pepper grinder?

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

car goes fast

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

ze5zege ef ege gg

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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