Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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How hard can it be?

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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