Motor from a food blender?

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Speed saves people!

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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In the WOOORLD...

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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