- Clarksonisms

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Claire chris paul steve & dave

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

Clarksonisms

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