I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Deal with it

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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