- Clarksonisms

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

How hard can it be?

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Clarksonisms

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