- Clarksonisms

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Speed saves people!

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Clarksonisms

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