Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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... And across the line!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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