- Clarksonisms

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Clarksonisms

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