- Clarksonisms

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

M3 drivers have no friends.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

Whatsapp Status

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Clarksonisms

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