This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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It stands out like

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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