Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

thumb_up thumb_down +267

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Killing a mamooth

thumb_up thumb_down -3

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +606

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down +95

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

thumb_up thumb_down +69

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

thumb_up thumb_down -382

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Flying fish wasabi?

thumb_up thumb_down +100

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

thumb_up thumb_down -83

we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -57

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

thumb_up thumb_down +68

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.