Killing a mamooth

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

... And across the line!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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