Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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we wait with anticipation

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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herro am spoderman

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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