If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

thumb_up thumb_down +129

herro am spoderman

thumb_up thumb_down -130

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -122

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Don't do that, tortoise!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

It stands out like

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +523

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

thumb_up thumb_down -847

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

ze5zege ef ege gg

thumb_up thumb_down -158

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +1,284

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.