"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Deal with it

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.