I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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herro am spoderman

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Some Poos Come Out

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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