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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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... And across the line!

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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...In the world.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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herro am spoderman

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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