- Clarksonisms

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Deal with it

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Frederik Du lugter

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Clarksonisms

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