- Clarksonisms

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

car goes fast

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Killing a mamooth

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

In the WOOORLD...

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Clarksonisms

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