- Clarksonisms

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

How many years are there in donkey years?

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds