- Clarksonisms

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Motorized pepper grinder?

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

... And across the line!

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

Das Stig is a manaic!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

How many years are there in donkey years?

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Some Poos Come Out

Clarksonisms

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