On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

It stands out like

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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