- Clarksonisms

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

M3 drivers have no friends.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Clarksonisms

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