on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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In the WOOORLD...

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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