- Clarksonisms

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Motor from a food blender?

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Deal with it

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Clarksonisms

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