- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Speed saves people!

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

ze5zege ef ege gg

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!