On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Motor from a food blender?

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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