- Clarksonisms

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

How many years are there in donkey years?

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

Motor from a food blender?

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

M3 drivers have no friends.

Clarksonisms

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