- Clarksonisms

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

ze5zege ef ege gg

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Whatsapp Status

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Clarksonisms

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