- Clarksonisms

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Clarksonisms

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