[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Flying fish wasabi?

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Deal with it

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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... And across the line!

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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