- Clarksonisms

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Clarksonisms

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