How hard can it be?

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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herro am spoderman

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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