- Clarksonisms

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

herro am spoderman

Some Poos Come Out

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Clarksonisms

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