- Clarksonisms

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

Some Poos Come Out

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Killing a mamooth

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

car goes fast

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

This is the greatest car ... In the world

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarksonisms

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