While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Motor from a food blender?

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Some Poos Come Out

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It stands out like

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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