- Clarksonisms

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Speed saves people!

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

car goes fast

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Frederik Du lugter

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Clarksonisms

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