Speed saves people!

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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...In the world.

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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herro am spoderman

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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