I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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It stands out like

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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