During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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