Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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