Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Deal with it

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.