Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Deal with it

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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