Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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