It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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car goes fast

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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