During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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How hard can it be?

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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It stands out like

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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