- Clarksonisms

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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car goes fast

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Clarksonisms

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