Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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... And across the line!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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