- Clarksonisms

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Clarksonisms

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