Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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we wait with anticipation

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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