Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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... And across the line!

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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