What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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