I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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... And across the line!

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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