Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

we wait with anticipation

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Whatsapp Status

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.