- Clarksonisms

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

M3 drivers have no friends.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Whatsapp Status

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Clarksonisms

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