tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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