WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

This is the greatest car ... In the world

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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