- Clarksonisms

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

In the WOOORLD...

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

How many years are there in donkey years?

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Clarksonisms

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