- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Speed saves people!

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

ze5zege ef ege gg

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!