- Clarksonisms

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Some Poos Come Out

M3 drivers have no friends.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Clarksonisms

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