Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Motor from a food blender?

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Frederik Du lugter

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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