- Clarksonisms

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Clarksonisms

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