on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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