- Clarksonisms

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Frederik Du lugter

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Clarksonisms

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