- Clarksonisms

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

...In the world.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Clarksonisms

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