3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

How many years are there in donkey years?

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Flying fish wasabi?

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.