- Clarksonisms

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

ze5zege ef ege gg

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Clarksonisms

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