[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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It stands out like

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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