Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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...In the world.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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