- Clarksonisms

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Don't do that, tortoise!

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

M3 drivers have no friends.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Clarksonisms

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