This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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car goes fast

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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