Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Flying fish wasabi?

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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