BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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