(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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Killing a mamooth

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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