On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Whatsapp Status

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Deal with it

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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