... And across the line!

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Whatsapp Status

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Don't do that, tortoise!

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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