- Clarksonisms

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Flying fish wasabi?

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

M3 drivers have no friends.

Clarksonisms

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