Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Frederik Du lugter

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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