Deal with it

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Das Stig is a manaic!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.