- Clarksonisms

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

... And across the line!

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Frederik Du lugter

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Clarksonisms

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