Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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It stands out like

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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