Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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Whatsapp Status

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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herro am spoderman

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Some Poos Come Out

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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