The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Deal with it

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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