- Clarksonisms

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Clarksonisms

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