- Clarksonisms

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

M3 drivers have no friends.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Clarksonisms

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