- Clarksonisms

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Flying fish wasabi?

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Clarksonisms

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