- Clarksonisms

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

It stands out like

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Deal with it

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Clarksonisms

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