- Clarksonisms

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Das Stig is a manaic!

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Clarksonisms

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