- Clarksonisms

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Killing a mamooth

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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Clarksonisms

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