On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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