Killing a mamooth

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

In the WOOORLD...

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Don't do that, tortoise!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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