Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Speed saves people!

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It stands out like

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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