- Clarksonisms

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Clarksonisms

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