- Clarksonisms

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Clarksonisms

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