Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +101

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

thumb_up thumb_down +864

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +612

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -118

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

M3 drivers have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -803

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +1,324

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

thumb_up thumb_down -278

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Motorized pepper grinder?

thumb_up thumb_down +78

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.