- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Motorized pepper grinder?

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

herro am spoderman

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Clarksonisms

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