How many years are there in donkey years?

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Killing a mamooth

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Some Poos Come Out

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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It stands out like

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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