- Clarksonisms

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Motor from a food blender?

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

... And across the line!

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Clarksonisms

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