- Clarksonisms

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Speed saves people!

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Clarksonisms

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