- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

we wait with anticipation

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Clarksonisms

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