On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

thumb_up thumb_down +213

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Motorized pepper grinder?

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Don't do that, tortoise!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

thumb_up thumb_down +130

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

thumb_up thumb_down +286

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

thumb_up thumb_down -54

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

herro am spoderman

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.