"How do I tell James to slow down?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

thumb_up thumb_down +58

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

thumb_up thumb_down +79

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

thumb_up thumb_down +98

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

thumb_up thumb_down +323

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +568

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +1,304

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1,129

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

thumb_up thumb_down -75

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

thumb_up thumb_down +63

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

thumb_up thumb_down +117

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

thumb_up thumb_down +119

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

thumb_up thumb_down +841

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.