POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

we wait with anticipation

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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