- Clarksonisms

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

car goes fast

In the WOOORLD...

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

... And across the line!

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Clarksonisms

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