Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +111

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

thumb_up thumb_down +68

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -119

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

thumb_up thumb_down +106

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

thumb_up thumb_down +324

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.