herro am spoderman

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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we wait with anticipation

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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How hard can it be?

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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