on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Frederik Du lugter

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

herro am spoderman

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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