- Clarksonisms

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Speed saves people!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

...In the world.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

M3 drivers have no friends.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Clarksonisms

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