And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Killing a mamooth

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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