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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Flying fish wasabi?

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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