[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

...In the world.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

ze5zege ef ege gg

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Don't do that, tortoise!

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.