- Clarksonisms

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Some Poos Come Out

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Killing a mamooth

Clarksonisms

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