- Clarksonisms

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Don't do that, tortoise!

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Clarksonisms

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