"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Some Poos Come Out

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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