On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

In the WOOORLD...

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Speed saves people!

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

car goes fast

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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