I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

It stands out like

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.