- Clarksonisms

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Das Stig is a manaic!

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarksonisms

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