Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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