On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

...In the world.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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