- Clarksonisms

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

How many years are there in donkey years?

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

How hard can it be?

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Clarksonisms

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