- Clarksonisms

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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