Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Killing a mamooth

Das Stig is a manaic!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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