- Clarksonisms

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Deal with it

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Clarksonisms

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