'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Speed saves people!

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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