- Clarksonisms

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

ze5zege ef ege gg

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Clarksonisms

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