On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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It stands out like

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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