- Clarksonisms

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

How many years are there in donkey years?

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Flying fish wasabi?

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Don't do that, tortoise!

Clarksonisms

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