most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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we wait with anticipation

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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herro am spoderman

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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