- Clarksonisms

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Das Stig is a manaic!

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

How many years are there in donkey years?

...In the world.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Clarksonisms

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