On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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...In the world.

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Deal with it

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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