On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Killing a mamooth

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Deal with it

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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