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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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In the WOOORLD...

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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How hard can it be?

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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