- Clarksonisms

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Clarksonisms

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