On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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...In the world.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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... And across the line!

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Deal with it

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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