- Clarksonisms

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Clarksonisms

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