- Clarksonisms

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Frederik Du lugter

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Clarksonisms

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