Deal with it

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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