- Clarksonisms

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

It stands out like

herro am spoderman

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

car goes fast

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Clarksonisms

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