BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

car goes fast

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.