In the WOOORLD...

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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