- Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

...In the world.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

car goes fast

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*