"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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