In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Whatsapp Status

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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herro am spoderman

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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