On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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... And across the line!

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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