- Clarksonisms

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

herro am spoderman

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Speed saves people!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Clarksonisms

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