What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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car goes fast

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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