On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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Some Poos Come Out

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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car goes fast

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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