- Clarksonisms

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

car goes fast

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

Claire chris paul steve & dave

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Clarksonisms

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