- Clarksonisms

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Clarksonisms

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