- Clarksonisms

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Clarksonisms

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