You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Das Stig is a manaic!

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

It stands out like

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Motor from a food blender?

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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