- Clarksonisms

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

How many years are there in donkey years?

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

...In the world.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Clarksonisms

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