On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Whatsapp Status

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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