When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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