If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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car goes fast

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we wait with anticipation

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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