[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Some Poos Come Out

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It stands out like

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Flying fish wasabi?

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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