Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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