On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Speed saves people!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

...In the world.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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