- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!