The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

In the WOOORLD...

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Whatsapp Status

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Killing a mamooth

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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