- Clarksonisms

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Flying fish wasabi?

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

...In the world.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

car goes fast

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Clarksonisms

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