- Clarksonisms

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Motorized pepper grinder?

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Clarksonisms

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