- Clarksonisms

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Clarksonisms

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