On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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