On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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