On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Killing a mamooth

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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