this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

thumb_up thumb_down +84

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

How many years are there in donkey years?

thumb_up thumb_down +79

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

thumb_up thumb_down +116

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

thumb_up thumb_down +117

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

thumb_up thumb_down +80

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

thumb_up thumb_down +76

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

thumb_up thumb_down -80

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -27

herro am spoderman

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Some Poos Come Out

thumb_up thumb_down +53

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +102

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

thumb_up thumb_down

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Das Stig is a manaic!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.