[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Motor from a food blender?

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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Killing a mamooth

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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