- Clarksonisms

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

... And across the line!

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Clarksonisms

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