Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Some Poos Come Out

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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