If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

car goes fast

we wait with anticipation

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

M3 drivers have no friends.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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