- Clarksonisms

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

...In the world.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Clarksonisms

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