- Clarksonisms

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Clarksonisms

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