- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Speed saves people!

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

ze5zege ef ege gg

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!