On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Frederik Du lugter

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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