- Clarksonisms

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Deal with it

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Clarksonisms

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