"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

How hard can it be?

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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