- Clarksonisms

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

ze5zege ef ege gg

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

Clarksonisms

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