On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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...In the world.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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