- Clarksonisms

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Frederik Du lugter

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Motorized pepper grinder?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

M3 drivers have no friends.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Clarksonisms

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