- Clarksonisms

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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