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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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... And across the line!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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