You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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How hard can it be?

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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