- Clarksonisms

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Clarksonisms

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