- Clarksonisms

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

Clarksonisms

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