On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

car goes fast

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

Killing a mamooth

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.