[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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