"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Frederik Du lugter

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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