- Clarksonisms

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

...In the world.

car goes fast

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Clarksonisms

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