- Clarksonisms

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

...In the world.

car goes fast

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

... And across the line!

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Clarksonisms

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