- Clarksonisms

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

This is the greatest car ... In the world

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Clarksonisms

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