"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

thumb_up thumb_down +117

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

thumb_up thumb_down +26

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Don't do that, tortoise!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

thumb_up thumb_down +201

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -124

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

thumb_up thumb_down +130

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.