[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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we wait with anticipation

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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