On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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Frederik Du lugter

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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In the WOOORLD...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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