- Clarksonisms

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

herro am spoderman

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Some Poos Come Out

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Clarksonisms

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