Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Whatsapp Status

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.