I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Killing a mamooth

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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