- Clarksonisms

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

How many years are there in donkey years?

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Clarksonisms

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