On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Deal with it

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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... And across the line!

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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