I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Motorized pepper grinder?

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

How many years are there in donkey years?

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

This is the greatest car ... In the world

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.