Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Motor from a food blender?

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Frederik Du lugter

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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