- Clarksonisms

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Speed saves people!

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Deal with it

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Clarksonisms

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