Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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How hard can it be?

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Killing a mamooth

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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