On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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...In the world.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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Deal with it

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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