Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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...In the world.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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