Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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