- Clarksonisms

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

M3 drivers have no friends.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

Claire chris paul steve & dave

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Clarksonisms

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