- Clarksonisms

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

Flying fish wasabi?

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

... And across the line!

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Motor from a food blender?

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Motorized pepper grinder?

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Clarksonisms

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