Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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we wait with anticipation

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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