Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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