Don't do that, tortoise!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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