- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!