- Clarksonisms

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Some Poos Come Out

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarksonisms

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