- Clarksonisms

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herro am spoderman

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Clarksonisms

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