Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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car goes fast

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Killing a mamooth

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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herro am spoderman

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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