What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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