- Clarksonisms

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

Clarksonisms

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