On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Whatsapp Status

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Flying fish wasabi?

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.