"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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It stands out like

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Speed saves people!

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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