Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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In the WOOORLD...

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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