on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Killing a mamooth

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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