[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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...In the world.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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