I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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... And across the line!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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