I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -92

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many years are there in donkey years?

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

thumb_up thumb_down +109

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

...In the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

thumb_up thumb_down +284

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +95

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

thumb_up thumb_down -76

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

thumb_up thumb_down -24

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

thumb_up thumb_down +232

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

thumb_up thumb_down +108

It stands out like

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.