- Clarksonisms

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

herro am spoderman

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Frederik Du lugter

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Clarksonisms

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