- Clarksonisms

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

Some Poos Come Out

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Clarksonisms

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