In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +101

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down +103

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

thumb_up thumb_down -12

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

thumb_up thumb_down

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

thumb_up thumb_down +241

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

thumb_up thumb_down +107

... And across the line!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down +137

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +311

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

thumb_up thumb_down -133

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Killing a mamooth

thumb_up thumb_down +28

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

This is the greatest car ... In the world

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.