Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Speed saves people!

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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