- Clarksonisms

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Speed saves people!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Clarksonisms

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