we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

thumb_up thumb_down -297

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

M3 drivers have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -823

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

thumb_up thumb_down +143

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

thumb_up thumb_down -39

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

thumb_up thumb_down +206

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

thumb_up thumb_down +85

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

thumb_up thumb_down -551

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Frederik Du lugter

thumb_up thumb_down -243

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.