I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Killing a mamooth

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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