The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Deal with it

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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