- Clarksonisms

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

How hard can it be?

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Clarksonisms

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