this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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