- Clarksonisms

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

M3 drivers have no friends.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

Clarksonisms

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