- Clarksonisms

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

we wait with anticipation

Clarksonisms

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