This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

It stands out like

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.