Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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