- Clarksonisms

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Deal with it

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

ze5zege ef ege gg

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Clarksonisms

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