This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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