The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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... And across the line!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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