What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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