- Clarksonisms

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

Clarksonisms

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