- Clarksonisms

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herro am spoderman

Killing a mamooth

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

we wait with anticipation

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Deal with it

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Whatsapp Status

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Clarksonisms

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