- Clarksonisms

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

we wait with anticipation

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Frederik Du lugter

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Clarksonisms

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