On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

... And across the line!

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Some Poos Come Out

car goes fast

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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