- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

herro am spoderman

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!