- Clarksonisms

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

herro am spoderman

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarksonisms

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