In the WOOORLD...

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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