This is the greatest car ... In the world

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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