James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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In the WOOORLD...

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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