- Clarksonisms

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Flying fish wasabi?

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Motor from a food blender?

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Clarksonisms

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