- Clarksonisms

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Motor from a food blender?

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Clarksonisms

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