- Clarksonisms

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

...In the world.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Clarksonisms

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