On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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