Claire chris paul steve & dave

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

thumb_up thumb_down +126

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

thumb_up thumb_down +79

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

thumb_up thumb_down +207

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +150

we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

...In the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -61

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.