Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Motorized pepper grinder?

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

This is the greatest car ... In the world

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Speed saves people!

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.