Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Don't do that, tortoise!

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.