On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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It stands out like

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Motor from a food blender?

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Speed saves people!

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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