- Clarksonisms

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

M3 drivers have no friends.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

herro am spoderman

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Clarksonisms

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