- Clarksonisms

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Clarksonisms

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