- Clarksonisms

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Whatsapp Status

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Some Poos Come Out

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Clarksonisms

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