And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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How hard can it be?

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Frederik Du lugter

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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