Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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