Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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In the WOOORLD...

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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car goes fast

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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