- Clarksonisms

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

car goes fast

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

It stands out like

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Deal with it

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Clarksonisms

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