- Clarksonisms

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

M3 drivers have no friends.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Clarksonisms

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