Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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... And across the line!

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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