I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

... And across the line!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

herro am spoderman

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

This is the greatest car ... In the world

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.