What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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