So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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It stands out like

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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