this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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...In the world.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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In the WOOORLD...

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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... And across the line!

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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It stands out like

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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