- Clarksonisms

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Speed saves people!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Clarksonisms

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