- Clarksonisms

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Speed saves people!

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

Claire chris paul steve & dave

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Clarksonisms

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