Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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... And across the line!

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Deal with it

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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we wait with anticipation

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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