- Clarksonisms

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Clarksonisms

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