- Clarksonisms

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

...In the world.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Flying fish wasabi?

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarksonisms

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