(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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herro am spoderman

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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