on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Das Stig is a manaic!

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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