- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds