- Clarksonisms

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

...In the world.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Clarksonisms

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