- Clarksonisms

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Deal with it

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Frederik Du lugter

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

Claire chris paul steve & dave

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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