Das Stig is a manaic!

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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...In the world.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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It stands out like

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Some Poos Come Out

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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