The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Speed saves people!

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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Frederik Du lugter

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How hard can it be?

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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