Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Killing a mamooth

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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