- Clarksonisms

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Motor from a food blender?

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Clarksonisms

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