- Clarksonisms

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

... And across the line!

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Deal with it

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Clarksonisms

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