How many years are there in donkey years?

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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