- Clarksonisms

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

we wait with anticipation

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Clarksonisms

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