Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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