Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

car goes fast

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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