tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

thumb_up thumb_down +200

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +102

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

thumb_up thumb_down -111

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

thumb_up thumb_down -86

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

thumb_up thumb_down +200

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

In the WOOORLD...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

thumb_up thumb_down +287

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

thumb_up thumb_down +157

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down +120

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.