- Clarksonisms

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Flying fish wasabi?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

It stands out like

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Clarksonisms

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