LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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car goes fast

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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