I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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...In the world.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Deal with it

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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