What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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It stands out like

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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