- Clarksonisms

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Frederik Du lugter

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Don't do that, tortoise!

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Clarksonisms

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