[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Killing a mamooth

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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How hard can it be?

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Deal with it

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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