And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Killing a mamooth

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Whatsapp Status

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Frederik Du lugter

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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