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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Some Poos Come Out

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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