Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Frederik Du lugter

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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