Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Speed saves people!

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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