'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

ze5zege ef ege gg

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Claire chris paul steve & dave

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Flying fish wasabi?

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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