A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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