- Clarksonisms

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

Das Stig is a manaic!

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Clarksonisms

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