- Clarksonisms

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Flying fish wasabi?

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Deal with it

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

car goes fast

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Clarksonisms

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