I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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we wait with anticipation

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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