- Clarksonisms

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Das Stig is a manaic!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Speed saves people!

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Clarksonisms

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