- Clarksonisms

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

car goes fast

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Clarksonisms

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