[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

In the WOOORLD...

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Deal with it

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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