You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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In the WOOORLD...

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Deal with it

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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herro am spoderman

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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