Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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