- Clarksonisms

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Flying fish wasabi?

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

herro am spoderman

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Deal with it

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

It stands out like

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Clarksonisms

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