- Clarksonisms

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

... And across the line!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

Clarksonisms

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