Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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How hard can it be?

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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