Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

How many years are there in donkey years?

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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