On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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