- Clarksonisms

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herro am spoderman

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

Clarksonisms

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