Das Stig is a manaic!

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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