- Clarksonisms

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Speed saves people!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

...In the world.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Clarksonisms

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