- Clarksonisms

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

It stands out like

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

In the WOOORLD...

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Clarksonisms

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