- Clarksonisms

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Flying fish wasabi?

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Frederik Du lugter

Clarksonisms

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