I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Claire chris paul steve & dave

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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