Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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herro am spoderman

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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we wait with anticipation

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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