- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Killing a mamooth

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!