On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Flying fish wasabi?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

herro am spoderman

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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