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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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car goes fast

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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... And across the line!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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