- Clarksonisms

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Clarksonisms

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