Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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