- Clarksonisms

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Whatsapp Status

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Flying fish wasabi?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

Clarksonisms

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