The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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...In the world.

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Deal with it

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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