[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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