POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.