- Clarksonisms

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Frederik Du lugter

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Don't do that, tortoise!

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

herro am spoderman

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

Clarksonisms

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