What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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... And across the line!

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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we wait with anticipation

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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