- Clarksonisms

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

Clarksonisms

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