- Clarksonisms

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

It stands out like

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Clarksonisms

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