- Clarksonisms

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Clarksonisms

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