[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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we wait with anticipation

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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