- Clarksonisms

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Frederik Du lugter

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Clarksonisms

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