Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Don't do that, tortoise!

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Whatsapp Status

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

car goes fast

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

It stands out like

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.