In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Frederik Du lugter

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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