Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

thumb_up thumb_down -58

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Killing a mamooth

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Don't do that, tortoise!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

thumb_up thumb_down +31

we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

thumb_up thumb_down +65

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -71

It stands out like

thumb_up thumb_down +34

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

thumb_up thumb_down +95

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +157

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Frederik Du lugter

thumb_up thumb_down -118

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down +91

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.