It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Speed saves people!

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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