- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Flying fish wasabi?

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!