- Clarksonisms

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

Clarksonisms

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