- Clarksonisms

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

ze5zege ef ege gg

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Clarksonisms

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