Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

car goes fast

we wait with anticipation

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Speed saves people!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

M3 drivers have no friends.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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