- Clarksonisms

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Clarksonisms

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