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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

Speed saves people!

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Das Stig is a manaic!

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.