- Clarksonisms

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Claire chris paul steve & dave

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Clarksonisms

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