Killing a mamooth

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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... And across the line!

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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