On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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How hard can it be?

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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