'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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