- Clarksonisms

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Frederik Du lugter

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Clarksonisms

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