... And across the line!

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

...In the world.

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.