On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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It stands out like

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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