- Clarksonisms

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Killing a mamooth

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Clarksonisms

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