Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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How hard can it be?

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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