- Clarksonisms

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Clarksonisms

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