Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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