- Clarksonisms

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Claire chris paul steve & dave

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Clarksonisms

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