WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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