On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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...In the world.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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car goes fast

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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