The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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