- Clarksonisms

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Frederik Du lugter

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

... And across the line!

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

Clarksonisms

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