Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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