we wait with anticipation

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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