I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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