On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

Motor from a food blender?

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Motorized pepper grinder?

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.