Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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we wait with anticipation

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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