I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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