On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Whatsapp Status

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How hard can it be?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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