On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Whatsapp Status

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Some Poos Come Out

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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It stands out like

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The highlight of my childhood – it’s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it’s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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