It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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It stands out like

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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Best Driving Roads: Yep, ah, It’s unlikely to be here cause everyone does 5mph (N. America), it’s not going to be here cause everyone is on drugs (S. America), that’s just all full of Ox (Africa), Al Gore says that’s gone (Antarctica) so its not going to be down there, That’s just all Spiders (Australia), sign posts are all full of gibberish (Japan), They’re all communist (Kazakhstan/Russia), can’t go there cause the Americans will shoot you (Iraq)

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Motor from a food blender?

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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How hard can it be?

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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... And across the line!

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Deal with it

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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