It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Whatsapp Status

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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It stands out like

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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