Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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It stands out like

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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