If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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car goes fast

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Killing a mamooth

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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