Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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Speed saves people!

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...In the world.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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