- Clarksonisms

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

herro am spoderman

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Clarksonisms

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