Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Motor from a food blender?

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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