Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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