- Clarksonisms

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Speed saves people!

Clarksonisms

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