What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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...In the world.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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Some Poos Come Out

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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