- Clarksonisms

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Frederik Du lugter

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Clarksonisms

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