- Clarksonisms

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

car goes fast

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

Clarksonisms

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