The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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we wait with anticipation

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Speed saves people!

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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