On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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How hard can it be?

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Killing a mamooth

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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