Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.