This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Flying fish wasabi?

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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... And across the line!

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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On the Kia Rio, "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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