Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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herro am spoderman

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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car goes fast

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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