Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Some Poos Come Out

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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