[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

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On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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...In the world.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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