- Clarksonisms

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Clarksonisms

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