Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

thumb_up thumb_down +120

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

thumb_up thumb_down +100

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

thumb_up thumb_down -33

car goes fast

thumb_up thumb_down -6

we wait with anticipation

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Speed saves people!

thumb_up thumb_down +167

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

thumb_up thumb_down +219

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +642

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

M3 drivers have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -774

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +243

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.