- Clarksonisms

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

ze5zege ef ege gg

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

Clarksonisms

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