- Clarksonisms

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Clarksonisms

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