- Clarksonisms

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I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

herro am spoderman

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Speed saves people!

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Clarksonisms

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