(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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