The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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