- Clarksonisms

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car goes fast

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Clarksonisms

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