M3 drivers have no friends.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

In the WOOORLD...

How hard can it be?

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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