On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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It stands out like

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Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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[On the Jaguar S-Type Concept Car]: If that car comes out like that then I will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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