poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -63

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

herro am spoderman

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

thumb_up thumb_down +328

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

thumb_up thumb_down -70

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

thumb_up thumb_down +851

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

...In the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

thumb_up thumb_down -649

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

thumb_up thumb_down -272

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

thumb_up thumb_down -785

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

thumb_up thumb_down +263

Claire chris paul steve & dave

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

thumb_up thumb_down +153

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.