- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Deal with it

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

This is the greatest car ... In the world

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds