- Clarksonisms

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Flying fish wasabi?

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

Motorized pepper grinder?

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

car goes fast

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Clarksonisms

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