"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Flying fish wasabi?

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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In the WOOORLD...

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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