The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

car goes fast

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

Some Poos Come Out

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

How hard can it be?

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

In the WOOORLD...

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.