Killing a mamooth

thumb_up thumb_down +27

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

thumb_up thumb_down +120

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

thumb_up thumb_down -120

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

thumb_up thumb_down +89

So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

thumb_up thumb_down -105

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

thumb_up thumb_down +241

Don't do that, tortoise!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

thumb_up thumb_down +160

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

thumb_up thumb_down -65

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

thumb_up thumb_down -47

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

thumb_up thumb_down +26

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -49

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.